Stolen from board 402:

I chewed up the piece of waffle in my mouth which was drenched in syrup and swallowed. It went down, down into my belly. As I readied my fork in front of my mouth for another scrumptious bite, there was a knock on the door. I got up from my chair to see who it was.

It was my girlfriend! Her shoulder-length black hair shimmered in the early morning light. Her tight t-shirt barely contained her C-cup breasticles. The tight jeans she was wearing didn’t leave much to the imagination.

“Hey sis,” I said as I invited her in. Then out of nowhere…

Her head exploded! Her brains splattered across my shirt and face. Blood was everywhere. Grey matter soaked into my shirt.

“WTF!?!!?” I exclaimed.

A man in all black emerged from a nearby bush. He looked sort of like…

It was a ninja! “Y helo thar” he said.

“You just killed my sister and lover! How could you!?”

“She was not your girlfriend at all… She was a pirate.”

“WHAT!?! How could that be?!”

“Why, it’s quite obvious.” He said “Notice her peg-leg and eyepatch.”

“Oh. Oh yeah. Good call.”

And then they emerged. Pirates. From all directions. Bushes, trees, off of my roof. EVERYWHERE! Their peg-legs clicking on the ground and their cutlasses raised.

“Argh, mateys, we’re going to slice ye throats.”

“Yeah, whateva” said the Ninja. He struck the five closest pirates with his katana. He picked off two of the pirates on the roof with a couple of ninja stars. “Ninja brethren! It is time!” he shouted.

Ninjas came from everywhere. They had even more hiding spaces than the pirates. It was time…

A massive battle erupted on my front lawn. Pirates sliced off ninjas’ arms with their mighty cutlasses and stabbed them in the eyes with their hooks. Ninjas flipped around and kept being totally sweet. Dead bodies littered the ground. Finally, the battle was done. Almost…

The final pirate and the final ninja faced eachother.

“Arrr” said the pirate.

“Y helo thar” said the ninja.

Then… as if sent from the Lord above…

CHUCK NORRIS!!!!

Chuck Norris lept from the sky and took down their candy asses.
He used his 1337 Texas ranger karate to kick off the pirate’s head. “OWNED!!” screamed Chuck Norris.

Chuck pulled out his sawed-off shotgun and blasted a whole through the ninja’s chest. “SHOTGUN’D!!!” shouted Chuck Norris.

“Now then… how bout some waffles?” he said.

And then we all had a good laugh.

THE END