Trip Journal - Toronto - 01.23 to 01.25 - Day 1
From the Black Book

01.23.04 - Around 12:50 PM.
Haha! It says 1-2-3. It was yesterday while talking to Erin that I realized I'm kinda like Norm from Cheers in terms of where I am in school. I'm just there, people know me, and while I'm not a major player/well known person, things are different when I'm not around. Yesterday I also realized how much my friends care, and how much I care for them (though I kinda always did. Always.) I hope this trip doesn't suck. At least I could take my guitar.

1:57 PM
I was so tempted to throw Super Mario Advance 4 out the window (Sorry Dan). It's a great game, except for... oh, I don't know... THE BLISTERINGLY HIGH DIFFICULTY!! Maybe I've lost my touch with Mario games, but Jesus Christ, the game is so unfair so many times, allowing for cheap deaths and ANGRY!!! I'm still gonna play. I think the game with the sliding tiles hates me.

2:14 PM
I heard Numb by Linkin Park on the radio again. I still don't like them. God, radio almost always sucks, the good moments are few and far between. I seriously want to hurl myself out of the moving car.
(Next page says "Who knows when you'll read this, but hi! <3 Sruti")

2:30 PM
Man... what a small world we live in. I just happened to see my friend Shawn at a service station midway to Toronto. Was really surprised to see him. Just talked for a bit and went our seperate ways... Kinda. He was also headed to the T-Dot. (Or the centre of the Universe, whatever you want to call it.)

6:42-ish PM
I'm in Markham, shopping a bit before seeing relatives. To sum up 2:30 till now, I slept in a car, checked into a hotel, played my guitar, and... here we are. Oh, and that clerk at the Days Inn... he doesn't smile enough.
(Random scribbles of things to do, and calculating prices of stuff.)
(Next Page torn out... I don't remember what it was.)

8:28 PM
ENTRY REMOVED

10:30 PM
Can't believe I ate the whole thing.

12:23 PM
Slept.

Change of pace, I'm in a good mood!

I had a good day today, and while it ended kinda shakily, it was still pretty good. What made it so great?

- People's reactions to me wearing the sweater. I like it, really soft.

- The classes (outside of that dreaded computer class) were really uplifting.

And most of all, was the entire lunch period. Me, Kevin, and Yashu (and for a short moment, Adam) decided to go back to our old, insane ways. We goofed off, made random noises, trailed groups of people and tried to join their conversations, and... well... it was kind of nostalgic... but it was also a little like reflecting on how much we've changed. We kept that second bit out of our minds, and just were happy.
Ended kinda shakily because of... problems. I'll leave it at that, I don't think I can say much, nor do I want to talk about it. Kind of a long story.

Hopefully tomorrow will be as good as today was.

I'm listening to Wonderwall. If Chakra Alex found out, she'd probably berate me for listening to Oasis.

By the way, I'm going to Toronto on Friday. I'll write about my adventures and I'll be sure to tell you about it. Should be fun!

And before I go:
James has posted a new comic for this week. He's got some golden stuff there, so be sure to take a look.
Daniel always has something going on on his site. He's also got a comic, and he has quite an imagination. I'm also kinda obligated to link to his site, because I'm in the comic.

kthxbye

I played PSX and ate some metallic-tasting burger and some shitty yellow place.

He has a good point.

What in the bloody fuck?

I leave for a week, and I find my tagboard all what the fuck. Really, I've been watching what's been going on.... seriously now.
And "Name", whoever you are, please, just tell us who you are. I really don't mind you being around too much (anymore), but I'd appreciate it if you just told us who you are. kthnx.

Anyways. I have an exam tomorrow for Geography. I have this feeling I'll fuck up and fail, or at the very least, get a 60. I've studied and all, but I have trouble remembering things for topics which I find uninteresting. As much as I'd like to think it'd fun and exciting... it's not.

Coupled with the fact that I've felt like shit lately, it doesn't mix well. I spent a few nights thinking to myself, about... well... my wellbeing. I've realized that I'm a mess inside. I have a lot of trouble expressing myself. I can tell others how I feel about things, but I can never actually say how I feel. I never find it easy to say much about my mood. I have long bouts of feeling down and I don't find it too easy to bring myself back up. It really sucks for me, especially since I'm able to post it all here, but I'm almost never able to speak out. Really... this is just bottling up everything.
I also have a lot of pent-up rage in me. I'm not planning to let it out destructively anytime soon. I am fused just in case I blow out. (<-Obscure song reference!)

I'm done for today.
Thanks for listening, to...
...the only person that calls.
...the one person who's almost always there.
And... that's pretty much it, I think.

Another post in the Computer class. Every time I walk in here, I either wish I was in Drama, or I feel happy. I don't hate the actual course, it's just the other students. They make me angry and swearing. It's kinda funny sometimes.

Yeah. My day looks pretty good right now, outside of French class. I'm looking forward to things.

I go into a swearing frenzy when people read over my shoulder. It's bad because I enjoy doing it. I'm trying to kill time so I'm making this as drawn out as possible.

I want to take a lead pipe and beat random people and objects in my Computer class. MWAHAHHAHAHHA!

Speaking of which, I hate my seat in the class, and I laugh whenever people talk about how the old systems are better than the new ones. They say that, and then they start getting into pissy fits about how Warcraft III is running 2 frames below normal. Fucking stupid, if you ask me. Also, I'm always the one asked when it comes to games.
"Hey Eric, is (system) good?" "PS2 is better, right Eric?"
My answer is normally a swift "Fuck off." They don't take too kindly to this, but that doesn't matter to me. I kinda find it funny when people say "Graphics aren't important", and then continue by saying "Oh man this game looks like shit."

If you're seriously considering a system, then listen to what your friends say, read up on games, and then choose. All the systems have at least 1 game that'll cater to someone.

So yeah.

Fuck off.

Things I did on New Year's:
- Talked to Rian for many hours
- Talked to Yashu while he was sloshed
- Guitar
and there's not much else. I was online a lot and stuff.

Today's really just another day for me. I mean it. I used to do things today. My aunt and uncle used to do things for today, but for like 3 years now, it's really been uneventful.
I'm trying not to swear but I really just want to fucking blow up. It kinda kills to know that everyone else is having some sort of eventful day, while I'm at home, doing nothing. I was offered the chance to do something, but I turned it down. I woulda said yes, but today's one of those family sort of things. I'm not saying that I didn't want to go. No, it's not that. I decided to turn it down because I suppose I'd rather be with my family.
Anyways, yeah. This'll probably be the longest post I make this year, save for the letter. Oh, I'm sure all you readers remember that. That was definitely something.
Even though I'm not doing anything, I wanna try to stay up all night. I'm probably going to end up sleeping, but whatever. I still wanna try.
So yeah, I sorta lost the whole point of Christmas New Year's. I mean, I haven't really celebrated it since... oh, 2000.
Whatever, fuck, I mean, I still got... NOTHING! Lying to myself again.
stuff.

Anyways, just to cause some commotion in my life, to give myself something to do,

I'm gonna post some confessions. Some interesting things which could cause a stir.

- I like Erin S. Slipped her a note telling her, not sure if she's read it. I wanna call her but I don't have the willpower to. I should, though, I mean, what's one more rejection?
- I used 160 caps for a cap gun within the span of three days.
- I almost killed my fingers playing guitar for nearly 3 hours, only taking two 15 minute breaks in between. Kinda stupid, but hey! :D
- I have trouble letting go. Expected an explanation? Sorry. Not this time. Not even if you ask.

And now, some things I wanted to do but didn't.
- I wanted to make a movie over the holiday, but never got the time to. I'm trying to think up a story though, involving mass violence, while having a story with a point.
- Obscure song reference: Grow my hair, I wanna be wanna be wanna be Jim Morrison.
- I wanted to do lots of people but didn't. You know who you are.

Back to blogging. Yashu was on the phone. Crazy bastard was smashed. He mouthed off at his neighbor's dog, and was drinking by himself. And as Alex keeps pointing out, drinking alone means alcoholism!

Ugh, I hate it when I open up a new window and forget what I was looking for.

EDIT! - Changed time

HAPPY NEW YEAR, YOU BASTARDS!

Yeah. I'm done today.
Listening to: Radiohead - Pablo Honey, The Bends, OK Computer, Kid A, Amnesiac, Hail To The Thief, I Might Be Wrong - Live Recordings, Live at Musiqueplus, B-Sides and Rarities. 9 and a half hours.