why is it at night i always end up slurring my speech and speaking in a deep, kinda raspy voice? i also stop caring about my typing, and i completely forget taht there's a backspace. on purpose. i'm gonna try to drag on this muthafucka in this melancholy-yet-still-pretty-happy state i'm in, regardkess of what senseless rambling shit i go on about.
felt a little shitty lately. that feeling of knowing that a friend isn't well yet i can't intervene and help because they don't feel they trust me enough... i hate that feeling.absolutely fucking terrible. that and i keep hitting an emotional low every couple of nights. i'm problably just bored or something, yeah.
note to self: "call you back" = "talk to you ina week"
not that i mind.
that much.
...

anyways.

going to a completely different topic now, it's sunday now. i still feel exactly the same. fuck. that sort of feeling where you're trying to think of something to do and you get nowhere fast. it doesn't even kill time. which iis the negative of waiting until i get tired. i am tired though, but not enough to warrant sleep. i'll be up for another few hours so i guess i'll keep writing.

i still have to finish jess' letter. i'd rather not now, i'm not in the mood to write down things. if i did it'd probably look like long lines of absolutely nothing taht makes sense at all.

like now!

i don't even remember what i was rantin g about. something about muthafucka and melancholy. and the word 'low'. the odd part is i haven't been drinking tonight, so yeah. maybe my brain's just meltingo r osmehitng. but i havent drank, and if you know me you'd also know i don't do drugs.

drugs are bad.

i've stoppped kmaking sense to mylsef. time to stop typing ands leepp.