If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Poontang

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Candy and Sex, preferably my body

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
Action Erotica

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
How to be a bad motherfucker

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
It'd be depressing.