7.30.2005
Two Line Poem - The poem was passed around, everyone wrote two lines, only seeing the second line of the last person.
I filled up my shopping cart
With the pieces of my broken heart
Many pieces, like a puzzle
Colourful pieces, and like a puzzle, some missing.
Keys to the heart
Lovers, they seldom do part
Until one stops it's heart
And they're trapped in the ice,
But couldn't get out
All they could do was scream and shout
Until, voices hoarse,
They collapse like card-towers
Gasping for breath
As in their moments of distress.
They seek solitude
And seek only their peace
Where they can surrender their feelings
Where they can know that they're safe
In a small box, they close their eyes
Surrounded by safety, safety of cardboard
Yet if the rain decdes to soak my box,
I have no choice but to run into the metro and dry my socks.
I filled up my shopping cart
With the pieces of my broken heart
Many pieces, like a puzzle
Colourful pieces, and like a puzzle, some missing.
Keys to the heart
Lovers, they seldom do part
Until one stops it's heart
And they're trapped in the ice,
But couldn't get out
All they could do was scream and shout
Until, voices hoarse,
They collapse like card-towers
Gasping for breath
As in their moments of distress.
They seek solitude
And seek only their peace
Where they can surrender their feelings
Where they can know that they're safe
In a small box, they close their eyes
Surrounded by safety, safety of cardboard
Yet if the rain decdes to soak my box,
I have no choice but to run into the metro and dry my socks.
7.28.2005
100 Things Every Guy Should Know from Maxim, May 1999.
How to pick a ripe watermelon
Forget thumping on the hull or pressing the stem end: Color’s the key. The ripest, tastiest melons are an appetizing red on the inside, not that watery, why-bother pink, and that richness of color’s reflected on the outside. Look for a melon whose dark bands are wider than its light bands. The higher the ratio of dark to light outside, the darker the color (and the sweeter the meat) inside. Alternate method: Split it open with an ax and shove some in your face. How was it?
How to unclasp a bra with one hand
1. With the palm of your dominant hand facing her, slide your middle finger under the bra strap, right between the clasp and her unbelievable body.
2. Pull the clasp out away from her with your middle finger, and pinch the strap between your thumb and ring finger. Pull your middle finger out, and begin to hum “Moon River.”
3.Slowly snap your fingers to accomplish mission. If she has a double-clasp bra, you may have to snap twice; don’t get flustered. Practice on Grandma if necessary.
How to pick a ripe watermelon
Forget thumping on the hull or pressing the stem end: Color’s the key. The ripest, tastiest melons are an appetizing red on the inside, not that watery, why-bother pink, and that richness of color’s reflected on the outside. Look for a melon whose dark bands are wider than its light bands. The higher the ratio of dark to light outside, the darker the color (and the sweeter the meat) inside. Alternate method: Split it open with an ax and shove some in your face. How was it?
How to unclasp a bra with one hand
1. With the palm of your dominant hand facing her, slide your middle finger under the bra strap, right between the clasp and her unbelievable body.
2. Pull the clasp out away from her with your middle finger, and pinch the strap between your thumb and ring finger. Pull your middle finger out, and begin to hum “Moon River.”
3.Slowly snap your fingers to accomplish mission. If she has a double-clasp bra, you may have to snap twice; don’t get flustered. Practice on Grandma if necessary.
7.26.2005
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