if you're wondering about the name change -- don't ask. i made some mistakes that'll be fixed soon.

Late for work today, for the first time in two months. It's totally my fault though. This morning, I got the monitor for the Mac G4 today. After getting back from the ortho (who I don't have to see again 'till May!), I hooked it up. I got distracted, and long story short, I was 7 minute slate. Oops.

One of these days I wouldn't mind being late for a totally valid reason, like getting into a street brawl, or being hit by a car, or a court summons against the brawlers or the drivers. Man, that'd be pretty out of the ordinary.

So I'm slowly falling asleep at my desk. This isn't good, and it won't do me and good if I'm caught. So I'm masking it well by coding the calls as fast as I can (as I'm supposed to do normally for work... -_-) Writing too, writing helps cover up the fatigue. I'm paying for all my late nights of near death no sleep experiences this week. I've consistently slept at like... 2:30, 3AM doing nothing at all, nothing productive anyways. Nothing NSFW either. Seriously just trying to sleep. I don't know. I don't know which of these issues I should deal with first, the insomnia or the productivity issues.

Speaking of productivity, the coffee machine fucked up today, and is giving out free coffee and hot chocolate. This is perfect! This is exactly what I need. Ifjasflkajflk I forget what I was gonna write. I burned my tongue with a mocha coffee, the first of the three I drank tonight. I have a bit of a lisp now. It's a little embarassing.

I'm gonna go and pick up my guitar again. It's been a while.

I can finally get back to writing again. Got one of the longer surveys, so I also have long moments of nothing in between.

I dusted off the old Blockbuster gold card, and decided to rent "Bully". It,s quite an intriguing game. For all of the exaggerations about school and society, it gets the basic ideas of daily life down pretty accurately. For example, you have classes that have to be attended, guards that bust you for truancy, being out of uniform, and bullying (duh), and the ever popular clique divisions in school. It's pretty tightly knit, and very well done. As an aside, all the controversy behind the game was pretty way off, as the lead character, you're more or less a defender of the people being bullied, sorta like a bully to bullies, y'know? But that's probably pretty obvious.

So Christmas is in 12 days! Are you excited? I'm excited. So excited, in fact, that I've made a Christmas themed mix...

Just kidding. I haven't and won't.

I feel like going back to some old habits that I broke years ago. No, this isn't where I come out and confess that I'm a smoker, I don't do that stuff.

No, it's not that sort of habit.

I think I want to go back to playing Dance Dance Revolution. Don't ask why, but I've gotten this urge recently to go back into that stuff. Arcading and all that. Hell, getting a home pad isn't even a bad idea, I wouldn't mind that either. But I dunno. It's been a while, and I'm outta shape. Maybe this could be part of a workout regimen, where I couple this with eating right, so I can get fit.

In other news -- I have one of these bad boys.You all probably already know anyways, but I got a DS Lite recently. I'm slowly amassing a collection of games, and staking out Wi-Fi hotspots near my frequent hangouts. I love it, but if only that alarm clock and all that came with a daily planner. Every portable stylus thing should have a daily planner. Man, then the DS would be like the greatest thing ever.

***

It's a little weird being the one of the few out of all my friends to be ending as early as I am. A bunch of people I know are at Vanier and Marianopolis, and they've got exams or another week to kill in school. Whatever, it's almost over, it'll be fine. I've got three months worth of stuff that I'll need to catch up on with everyone I haven't seen.

I feel like I'm half dead. In the past 48 hours, I've only slept about 8. I'm something of a zombie right now, but it'll be over soon. Tomorrow, for all intents and purposes, is my last real day of class. One last in-class essay to do for English, but then that's it. I normally have three classes sthat day, but -- holy shit I've gotta find something to do besides going back home. Being home really just translates to doing nothing, which is what I hope to avoid. Shit... I'm dozing. This is such a bizarre feeling. I figure I can keep this up just so long that I don't start hallucinating. It sorta happened last night, I thought I was seeing bugs.

Do I wanna get on this metro? Nah, no seats. I'll head to the end of the station, there's always space there.

So I managed to type out two 1000 word essays in an hour and a half. I feel like a superhero or something. It was pretty fucking awesome, blazing through them like that. I like it when I get a rush of creativity like that, it's alway so--hey, someone I know. Gotta run.

Scribbles from the notebook
7:15PM
I just tried my hand at writing out a short story, but it just isn't panning out. I can only commit for something like that for just so long. But right now, I'm writing to stay alive. See,I'm at work now, I've got fifteen minutes to kill, and unlike other days, today is going by so painfully slow. Business numbers -- and people with no VCRs -- line my day, and because of that, there are no surveys being done... not that it matters, as I'm still getting paid. But still. As one of my co-workers used to say, "The dialer gods aren't with me tonight."
7:45PM (On Break)
I was gonna go over to Al-Taïb tonight, but it didn't really pan out when I realized that more or less every day this week, pizza's been dinner. So instead, I went for the quick and dirty Big Mac. I'll probably walk a bit of the ways home tonight to get it out of me.

Time just slips right on through when you don't really pay attention. I got home from work at around 10PM and decided to play around a bit with Wing Commander 3. I don't realize it right away, but by the time I call it quits, it's 11:55PM and I've got class in 8 hours. Damn.

I guess I've got reason to not be sleeping right now though. The story's simple, I fell asleep at work. Yes, I fell asleep at my desk, while calling people to do surveys. I figured it was about time, my fatigue was bound to catch up to me. I'm glad that a couple of things that could've happened didn't happen, like me getting caught, or me snoring, all that embarassing stuff. But man, that'd be pretty funny if it did.

"Eric. Eric!"
"Hmnhm? *wipes drool off*"

It's probably around here that I would get a stern talking to, but my arms hurt, so I won't bother around with typing that out. Needless to say, it'd involve office equipment fights and a computer monitor crashing onto the street. Picture it, it's a sweet mental image.

So what's new with me? Not really anything. Single again. *thumbs up*

Beyond that, there isn't much else to talk about. I have a new gadget. The DS Lite now has a near permanent spot in my bag. It's so great to have, it's like having one of those nifty Tricorders from Star Trek, minus the ability to point it at things and have it tell me whether it's alive or dead.

I haven't really played my guitar in a long time. I get a good couple of hours in now and then, but it's exactly that, a couple of hours. Of course, it's spread out across a day, so really, it's only a few minutes. I think it's mainly because I don't have any sort of goal to play towards. There's no talent show that I wanna play, there's no gigs in the future... I don't really have a purpose like I did in High School. What should it be now, to score some women?

Yeah, no...

Anyways. I'm out. Hopefully this is the (re)start of a regular thing.

You have to watch this video. Bollywood does it's take on Thriller.

Yes. BOLLYWOOD. FUCKING. THRILLER.

Beavis and Butthead - Nosebleed

So NFW Productions went and did it again. AJ, with the help of a great deal of people (even me!) developed a short film about... Lunch. This one's called Mission: Lunch. Please feel free to comment!

In light of everything, I had a great deal of free time yesterday, so I messed around in Garry's Mod.

OH MY GAWD, KANG! BARNEY'S JUST DROPPED THE ELBOW! THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW! MAH GAWD STOP THE MATCH!




And the real thing, to contrast:

Wow, I didn't even think to post my schedule for Dawson here! Here it is.

My job is stupidly easy and I shouldn't complain, but I dread it whenever I think of going to work. As soon as I'm in there though, it's all about taking my sweet ass time doing nothing, making sure I listen to people's answering machines, and repeatedly--almost obsessively--staring at the clock to see how quickly time can go when i'm on the lines.

I like my job, actually. Especially when I use this thing.


Also, it's not really... stupidly easy. Just easy. Yeah.

My mother, Virginia Mendoza, passed away today (well, yesterday) after her eight month long battle with leukemia. I'm having the hardest time in the world trying to let that fact sink in. It's unfair, y'know? Not that I would want this to happen to anyone else, but that feeling of "why us?" keeps coming back to me. I'm trying to be strong though... In the hospital room, where most of the family on the island was, everyone was telling me to be strong through all this. I intend to live up to that. It's rough, everything that's happened so far, but we've gotta stick together.

It was today that I also realized that in her passing, there is a new life about to start. My nephews, Myles and David, are going to be baptized on Sunday. We were all reluctant on doing it, but my Mom was adamant about having the baptism. It's what she would've wanted.

I'd like to believe that my family deals with these situations differently than others. A lot of us at home have the same sense of humor, and that's what kept us up in our spirits today. We thought about all the pranks Mom pulled, and all the jokes she'd tell. I loved that so much. She's where my cynical sense of humor came from.

I feel that typing out about the whole week leading up to this will help me feel better about it. I've been keeping this to myself for so long, and I feel bad for leaving a lot of you in the dark. It's just... tough for me to tell something like this. I hope, if you're reading this, that you don't feel I've left you in the dark. Believe me, it's likely I would've trusted you enough to say, but was too withdrawn and worried to bring it up.

She came home from a one-and-a-half month long stay from the Jewish General Hospital on Monday. I had gotten word of her coming home from my Dad. He had told me that after all the chemotherapy, there was nothing left for them to do, and that they would stop the treatment and send her home. Naturally, I broke down. Welling up the tears for the few months, trying to keep my chin up, I burst like a dam. But I still kept hope, because that was all I could do, along with keeping her company.

When I arrived at the hospital, my sister and her boyfriend were there with her, watching Hell's Kitchen. I'm glad I went, because that night, we were laughing and just... doing what we do, yeah? That night, we were up, my sister and I, along with our cousin who came along afterwards, and we were cleaning the house in preparation for her arrival that morning.

Tuesday came, and she was back home. As the week passed, her condition gradually worsened. We had visitors coming in and out of the house, Mom's friends, family, co-workers, everyone. On Thursday, she went over to meet with her doctor at the Jewish General. It was then that she recieved the news that her condition had become what was essentially terminal. Up until that night though, she was in good shape. She was feeling good and everything. Mom even got to see her granddaughter and grandsons. Her spirits were lifted at the sight of that, and I smiled at the sight.

That night, and pushing into morning, her fever started to rise up dangerously. It was that afternoon that she refused to swallow the Tylenol and she wouldn't speak to us, that we called her doctor at the Cancer ward at the Jewish General. She wasn't responding to us, and we had no idea what to do, so they set up a room for her. We had to get an ambulance for her, because there wasn't any way we could transport her on our own.

We called as many people in the family as we could to meet us there. At the hospital, my mom repeatedly tried removing the oxygen mask. She also pulled her hand away from us, and tried to ward us off. Why she was doing this, we didn't know, but we assumed it was discomfort. Not long after, her doctor, Dr. Caplan, took myself, my father, and my sister aside, and told us the grim news. The possibility of her surviving was non-existant, and at the very least, we could have a few days with her. Not wanting to think it over, the group of us, about twenty of our relatives, went out for a breather. It was while we were gone, at 6:40 PM, that my mother passed away. We all regretted not being there, until we realized what she was trying to tell us in pushing us away.

See, my mother was always the stubborn, do-it-yourself type. In this case, she didn't want us around to see her like that. She was a strong woman, the type who would think about everyone else before herself, a selfless person. Mom didn't want us to see her when she passed away, so she let us go. She was even aware that we had left, we had told her that we'd get dinner and come back. I'm also convinced that she had subconciously made us stay away until it was over. We all considered going back in. My sister needed another smoke to calm herself, and I needed to take out the trash and feed the dogs before going back. We were both about to head inside before having these second thoughts, and it's so strange that we both decided otherwise. In the end, it was better for her. It's what she would've wanted.

I spent the next few hours chilling with family. We had a toast to all the good times with her, in her memory. I can't help but feel worried though, about the future, but I know we can pull through. If she taught me anything at all, it's to be assertive and strong in a stressful time.

The viewing will be on Monday, this week. We've already started gathering pictures of us and her together to set up. I've cried so much today, but I'm still keeping myself together.

Rest In Peace, Mom. I'm gonna make you proud.
1948-2006

And now, Vince McMahon... SINGING AND DANCING!

My sister gave me homework for the summer. Her and her friend (who works at Movieland) composed a list of summer watching to keep me fresh for the summer. I'm going into Cinema at Dawson, so this list is made to enrich my tastes and all. I've already started on the project, it's pretty fun.

Brian De Palma - Carlito's Way
Steven Soderbergh - Out Of Sight
Modern Day Film Noir:
- L.A. Confidential
- Chinatown (Polanski)
Shallow Grave - Thriller
Trainspotting - Modern
American Beauty
Steven Shainberg:
- Hit Me
- Secretary
Todd Sollondz - Welcome to the Dollhouse
Gus Van Sant - Drugstore Cowboy
Every Coen Brothers Movie - *The Big Lebowski
Spike Lee:
- Do The Right Thing
- Mo Better Blues
Scorsese:
- Raging Bull
- Taxi Driver
Documentaries:
- Rize
- Dogtown and Z-Boys
- The Endless Summer
Steven Spielberg:
- Schindler's List
- Jaws
- Duel
Jim Jarmusch - Dead Man
American Splendor
Crash
Mysterious Skin
C.R.A.Z.Y.
David Cronenberg - Naked Lunch
Horror (John Carpenter):
- Halloween
- The Thing
Italian Horror:
- Lucio Fulci's Zombie
- The Beyond
- Susprira (Dario Argento)
Italian Giallo:
- The Case of the Scorpion's Tail (Sergio Martino)
Donnie Darko
Primer
Blade Runner
Badlands
Charlie Chaplin:
- City Lights
- Modern Times
The Wizard of Oz
Fritz Lang's M
Silent - Nosferatu
Western - Once Upon A Time In The West
Film Noir:
- Double Indemnity
- Maltese Falcon
Casablanca
Frankenstein (1930's)
Bride of Frankenstein
Orson Welles - Touch of Evil
Classic:
- On The Waterfront
- The Grapes of Wrath (John Ford)
Experimental/Asian Cinema:
-Tetsuo The Iron Man
Horror:
- Audition
- A Tale of Two Sisters
Cult Classics:
Blaxploitation - The Mack
Evil Dead 2
John Waters:
- Cecil B. Demented
- Crybaby
Peter Jackson:
- Dead Alive
Terry Gilliam:
- Brazil
- 12 Monkeys
Any Tim Burton Movie
Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Musicals)
Pulp Fiction
Billy Wilder movies
Comedies:
Wes Anderson
Mel Brooks
P.T. Anderson:
- Boogie Nights
- Punch Drunk Love
- Magnolia
Italian Film:
8 1/2 - Fellini
La Dolce Vita
The Graduate (70's)
Breathless - Godard - French New Wave
Band of Outsiders
Rashomon - Akira Kurosawa (Japanese)
Ran
Chungking Express - Wong Kar-Wai
Persona - Bergman
Wings of Desire - German
Element of Crime - Lars Von Trier
Accatone - Pier Paolo Pasolini
All About My Mother - Almodovar
Kubrick Films - 2001
The Godfather series
David Lynch:
- Elephant Man
- Mullholland Drive
Oliver Stone - Platoon
Woody Allen:
- Annie Hall
- Shadows and Fog
Alfred Hitchcock:
- Strangers on a Train
- Rear Window
Peeping Tom (Classic Horror)
Biopics:
- Basquiat
- Before The Night Falls
- Capote
- JFK

I bought Half-Life 2: GOTY Edition a couple of days ago. Came with HL1: Source, Deathmatch, and CS: Source too. I've also messed with that Dayhard mod, and GMod especially...

So uh, are there any currently free mods that I should go for right away? Also, are there any mods that I should be saving up for that you kids are still playing, besides Day of Defeat, which I'm well aware is still awesome?

Dammit. Ever pour a bowl of cereal, flake cereal (like Oatmeal Crisp, or Frosted Flakes)? I'm sure. But when you poured your milk, and one of them is upturned and the milk you pour catches into it and spills everywhere? It's always that one flake that tries to be a rebel. That's why I eat cereal. To beat the rebels.

Don't get what I mean?


I brought it up with Stephens and the conversation was... fun?

X-Men 3 Danger Room Scene:
Link here

Goddamn this looks awesome.

I was passed along this link earlier from a friend, it's Robert De Niro on Elmo's World!

"Superman Is A Dick" may be old, but it's still hilarious. XD

Beavis and Butthead watch the video for Radiohead's Creep

this picture has a backstory. sruti was looking for a picture for the Superdudes' (school play's) myspace page. she asked me for pictures of superheroes that would be appropriate. i showed her this.

this picture. (semi-nws)

Burger King: THE RING on YTMND.

Holy shit I've been laughing at that non-stop for the past 10 minutes.

Watching movies alone really isn't as fun as I thought it would be. Especially kung-fu movies. I came damn close to falling asleep watching The Chinese Connection today.

Clips of every thug Charles Bronson kills in the Death Wish series

This 21 minute video is a strung together series of clips featuring Charles Bronson shooting various thugs in his Death Wish movies. Very entertaining. Very.

I was watching an ep of Chappelle's Show today, it was the one with the History Channel doctumentary. I keep thinking about this and it's probably the funniest thing I've heard/read all night.

I just took some screens of my list of shared music on Soulseek. I uploaded it on photobucket, and discovered that I had an older list posted too. Compare them both and be amazed.

Also--if there's anything you want, don't hesitate to ask. I'll share them through soulseek, or however else.

The Old List, pic taken November 21, 2005.

Current List of Music - taken today.

I slept at 5AM on Friday night and it threw everything off balance. I can't sleep now. Oh well. Back to videogames.

I hope nobody'll be too disappointed when I say I had a change of heart.

I was talking to a friend of mine earlier about girls we had an interest in. We both came to the same conclusion: we both felt there was a connection, but didn't wanna take a chance for one reason or another.

Then I started thinking about all the single guys I know, myself included. Most all of them have some sort of interest in a girl, but we're all a little afraid to take that chance. Why is that? I mean... what is there to lose? Like I told this friend of mine, we only stand to lose face for a little while, and you know, look a bit like an idiot, but it's only for a little while.

A little while = not long, last I checked.

So why is it really, that guys can't take the extra steps forward?

Personally, I... don't really have a reason not to. I guess it's the fear of how her friends would all freak out or whatever. But she's awesome. I mean fuck, she knows who Starsailor are. NOBODY knows Starsailor.

*sigh* Girls...

The touching story of a love that could never be.

Brokeback To The Future, from the producers who brought you Brokeback Mountain.

How do you properly tell someone their work sucks? I'm reading through some of these articles that I've gotten for the school paper, and in all honesty, some of them really really really suck.

I won't name names, but some people working on the paper could really do themselves a paper if they just stopped writing completely.

EDIT: Jems pointed it out, and I didn't notice it at all. It must be the lack of sleep or something, but ... well, just look above. "do themselves a paper." It should be "do themselves a favour"... but I don't want to change it.

What the fuck?
All I'm gonna say is... 0_o

The Valentine's Day LHA Radio Playlist:


Bitter. Angry. Loving it.

Oh shit! It's 11PM and I haven't started my laundry. Or the school newspaper.

I'm boned! All nighter tonight! My mom doesn't know it, but the reason I drank that horrible instant coffee was because I knew I'd be up late.

I hate instant coffee, but so does everyone else in my house, 'cept my grandma.

motherfucker i didn't know private school tuition was THAT pricey. $12000!
oh well i think i still have enough for wtv.

Check out this short article on Google HQ's snackroom. It's completely free for employees.
http://www.valleywag.com/tech/google/google-snack-rooms-152676.php
I wish I worked for Google.

When I finish all my work early in Computer class I end up so bored. I've spent the last hour reading about Jim Henson and the Muppets. I am so -- BORED.

I'd leave the class and wander but ehhh that won't get me anywhere fast. I love doing voices. I just read a comic in Cookie Monster's voice. It's fun!

I think I'm going to sleep off the rest of the night.

But before I leave, lemme tell you about my Economics project.

My economics project is meant to help us understand budgeting and such. We're all given scenarios and have to work according to what's given. In mine, I'm "married" to Robyn, and we have one child, an 8 year old boy named Elliott (yes, that was mutually chosen). We both make around ~$2500 per year, and in total the both of us earn ~$58000 or so. The catch is that Elliott has to go to a private school. That's not so bad though. Tuition isn't that expensive.

Anyways, Robyn's out on the school's ski trip, so I'm debating whether or not to start working on it or not. I think I'll try to find housing while she's gone, then show her what I've got. Hopefully this'll all work out. I wanna prove the naysayers wrong, everyone that's telling me to watch out. Hahaha.

I'm out.
Maybe friday I can get tickets to the dance, and I'll take youu... oooo-oooo.

Real Life: The Review



What a great review. Man, I gotta pick this up.

24: The Game videos

My. Reviews are starting to pour in from around the world. OPSMUK gave it an 8/10, and a Portugese gaming site gave it an 85%.

get off the phone i want to sleep. shut up shut up shut up.

god.

why are you calling me at 11 anyways?

Bambi II, coming soon to DVD.

Why? : (

blogger is really weird on the drama room computer. it's lunchtime and there's some sort of ski trip meeting going on behind me - but i'm not a part of it. i'm just... in the room. i saw a baby spider crawling up one of the walls here, and now i'm paranoid and shit. like... that feeling you get when you're all itchy in paranoia and all? like that.

i finished off my powerpoint presentation for computer class today. it turned out nicely, i'm quite proud of it.

so the invisible theatre project got assigned yesterday. the main idea behind it is basically to act out a scene in public, and then guage the reactions of the passerbyers while maintaining the illusion that what you just presented is real. i gotta think this one out, i want it to be good.

my sister got home from her cruise yesterday. she brought back so much stuff -- junk food stuff. ruffles cheddar cheese + sour cream flavour, lays jalapeno flavour, and FUNIONS!! yeah.... i was up until 2 because of it, and now i'm all disoriented and shit..

anyways, i'm out.

Chris Penn found dead.

This sucks. :( RIP.

I forced myself to sleep at 10:30 last night. Woke up on my own at around 8:30-ish this morning. I tried it again tonight but the whole election thing kept me up. It's almost 12:30 now and I'm wired now. Dammit. I'll be back in school this week though, so hopefully I'll be back to a normal routine.

Added a new (and long overdue) link to the bottom:

Go there -- NOW.

Japanese Spider-Man!

The first episode of Supaida-Man, a show from the 1970's by TOEI. This is said to be the start of giant mechs in Japanese programming.

The show is so hilariously bad, campy, cheesy, you name it -- but it's so fun to watch.

William Shatner's kidney stone: $25000 US
Hearing him yell KHAN while passing it: Priceless.

William Shatner Sells Kidney Stone (Associated Press)

You are playing a game now.

The rules are here.

Good luck.

My sleeping habits are very fucked up, but it's entirely my fault. I really wish I didn't procrastinate like I do, but whatever, my powerpoint presentation kicks ass.

Whether or not you like Muse, I still think you'll find a laugh at this fansite:
http://www.iliekmuse.co.uk/

No, that's not a typo.

Aww.

I went to Okkervil River's site, and got excited when I saw "Montreal" on the list of tour dates.

Then I saw the date on the left side.

:( Oh well.

I went to Pharmaprix just now, about 15 minutes before closing. I had to buy some notebooks for French class. It's just my luck though that they didn't have the books I was looking for. All they had were those stupid interlined notebooks, and these:

I was looking for these:

...but beggars can't be choosers. I picked up two of those spiral ones and went on my way.

I watched the snow bulldozers pushing snow around. There were yellow flashing lights everywhere. I couldn't help but think of those two poor souls who got run over by them. That's a horrible way to go.

A streetlight burned out as I was walking home. I wasn't afraid of the dark though, the moonlight was enough for me.

I won a contest over at Zibbudie Babbuhl last night. At the end of a bunch of posts by Kyle, there were song lyrics. The contest was to find all the posts with lyrics and name the songs they're from. The time spent figuring out lyrics paid off though. Details on their blog, but let's just say it's awesome beyond words.

In other news, the Clerks 2 teaser hit the net today. See it here. I just finished watching it, and it looks promising. I'm a little iffy about it, but I'm looking forward to it. The trailer left one lasting impression on me though...

Rosario Dawson is a babe.

jesus it's like 2:45 in the morning.

Happy New Year!